Everybody Dance Now!

Hey everybody, $700 billion doesn’t seem like all that much cabbage any more, does it?

Dow prints a 7-handle right out of the gate on Friday — NICE!  Then we get a pretty V-bottom, somes cheers on the floor, another grind-down late into the session, and then rumors of some more “coordination” among the world’s ruling buffoons, and we finish the day with only one more black eye, 128 down.

Wall Street greed, Wall Street greed, Wall Street greed.  Whatever.  You give a kid a bottle of pancake syrup, a bag of feathers, and a fan, and leave him alone for a few hours, you deserve what you get. 

Shakespeare himself could not have concocted the comedy of errors we’ve enjoyed in this farce, including:

– Letting the Democrats inflate Freddie and Fannie like Mardi Gras floats

– Supporting Sarbanes-Oxley, which neuters corporate American communications to investors and forces them to sit there mum and effete while talking heads traumatize the markets

– Greenspan.  World’s literally dumbest person.  Go back and look at it.  What he did, what he said.

– Letting the completely broken and stupid ratings agencies act on a daily basis as financial terrorists, aiding and abetting the short sellers in every effort by moronically validating what the shorts are trying to do… drive the stock price down to a level where the company in question can’t raise the capital it needs to survive in the face of pure panic

– Fiddling while Rome burns, Congress craps around for two weeks, kowtowing to hysterical and naive voters calling in to make sure “you don’t give my money to those #!)_^(#_)s on Wall Street”.  By the time they finally get around to passing anything, the damage is done.  And here we are a week after TARP passes, and what have we seen?  Nothing.  They’re still picking out agency letterhead.

– Chasing the problem the whole way down the rabbit hole, the Fed continues to try to conserve bullets in its gun, foregoing a “shock and awe” approach for the minimum it can get away with at each juncture.  The latest: 50 basis point cut.  BFD.  If they weren’t going to do 100, they shouldn’t have bothered at all.  Predictably, the market laughed at the Fed and sold off anyhow.

– And hey how about that fun-loving goofball Sheila Bair at the FDIC, cutting a deal with Citi and then playing footsie with Wells Fargo during the intermission?  There’s a big old confidence builder!  News Flash: The government’s word means nothing.  That’ll come in handy next time they need a partner in a crisis.

– Putting exquisite punctuation on the debacle, our fearless leaders decide to lift the short ban, since of course TARP has been passed and everything’s ok now…. but oops, TARP is sitting there like a fat drunk passed out on the floor, so what happens?  Total freaking jailbreak on Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and the rest of the market!

We had our chance.  Nature gave us a test drive, and we ran off the road.  It’s time for us to step aside and let the cockroaches take a crack at it.


6 Responses to “Everybody Dance Now!”

  1. Brian Freeman Says:

    What of this?
    (Chart of DJIA performance (1928-present) – Linear scale)

    Or this
    (Chart of DJIA performance (1928-present) – Logarithmic scale)

    And yes, there’s far more to the current crisis (before, during, and eventually, after) than what it’s doing to the Dow – for starters, what it’s doing to the innocent and relatively innocent.

  2. Brian Freeman Says:

    Tim – Oops, didn’t see the rest of your post after the graph. So disregard the last sentence of my post.

  3. Brian Freeman Says:

    Disregard the disregard. First posting apparently didn’t make it to the blog.

    In any event:

    What of this?
    (Chart of DJIA performance (1928-present) – Linear scale)

    or this:
    (Chart of DJIA performance (1928-present) – Logarithmic scale)

    And yes, clearly there’s far more to the current crisis than what it’s doing to the Dow – for starters, what it’s doing to the innocent or relatively innocent, here and abroad.

  4. Mark Grannis Says:

    I’m on the road and thumb-typing, Tim, but are you suggesting that post-TARP events somehow prove that Congress should have passed the bailout bill five days sooner? If so, how do we tell whether the current problem is not enough TARP or too much TARP?

  5. Timothy Peach Says:

    I’m not suggesting anything, dude. I just felt like cataloguing the recent buffoonery. It was cathartic.

    Anyone who votes for any incumbent should probably have their head examined. We reached an all-time high for broken in this crisis.

    Can you imagine a Democratic trifecta next year? You’re worried about fiscal discipline? Should I repost that 100 billion dollar Zimbabwe note?

  6. Tim Naughton Says:

    I do admire one thing – the balls to call that section of the act “TARP.” I thought I was watching “Good Fellas.”

    The “our banks are going to fail” stuff has been surreal (my having been pretty close to a few bank failures or near bank failures, even riding one á la Slim Pickens as B-52 pilot Major T. J. “King” Kong in Dr. Strangelove, riding that retaliatory hydrogen bomb on Russia). As a lawyer practicing in this area, I have gotten some pretty wild calls, interspersed with reminiscing opportunities galore. Yes, I sure learned a lot, but “the good old days,” my azz.

    Returing to Slim, on receiving his orders to bomb Russia, he said to his crew:

    “Well, boys, I reckon this is it — nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies. Now look, boys, I ain’t much of a hand at makin’ speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin’ on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin.’ Heck, I reckon you wouldn’t even be human bein’s if you didn’t have some pretty strong personal feelin’s about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin’ on you and by golly, we ain’t about to let ’em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I’d say that you’re all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing’s over with. That goes for ever’ last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let’s get this thing on the hump — we got some flyin’ to do.”

    I figure that’s about the same speech McCain gave as he cheered on the House Republicans during the suspension of his campaign, thus delaying their pivotal vote for another few days.

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